Your not doing it right.

What irritates me most about college students is the fact that they all claim to "hate" reading and writing.  Like hello, you're in school, you know, that place you sit for a few hours only to pass time until the next night you get excessively drunk.  Sound familiar?  Well I am not too fond of being hated, especially for those reasons that are beyond my control.  It's not my fault that the only reason you ever see me are in lengthy, overpriced, textbooks you hardly ever use anyways, or in that article written by some dead dude with a bad goatee about his invention that some say "changed the world."  I mean even though that dead dude with a bad goatee is the only reason you're able to watch Jersey Shore every Thursday night (or Sunday night depending on whether something particularly "dope" is going down.)  Better yet, even when there are those few who can truly appreciate writing around them, they just don't seem to get it.  Whether you realize it or not, you all come in contact with me everyday; in lyrics to your favorite songs, the latest Twilight novel (Edward is soooo dreamy), or in the massive amount of calories you're consuming in your taco bell meal.  People that is called reading.  Now let's say you enjoy reading about that nacho goodness, chances are you're still not writing correctly, which in turn, will translate to you not reading correctly either.  Now I want you all to pay attention: THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN "YOUR" AND "YOU'RE," "THEIR," "THEY'RE," AND "THERE" AND "TO," "TWO," AND "TOO."  Okay, do you understand?  Chances are you don't so let me make it easier.  "You're" is the same as "you are" as in "you're going to the party tomorrow, right?"  Now I know you're not going to the party because you probably have no friends, but this is just an example.  "Your" is more possessive, such as "your dress is pretty."  You wouldn't say "you are dress is pretty" right?  And no, your dress is in fact hideous.  If you don't know "two" as in it's a number then you probably shouldn't have passed first grade.  "To" would be used as "Let's go to the mall" while "too" would be to agree, such as "I want to go to the mall too."  Well you should because you need a new dress.  "Their" is possessive, as in "their house," "their car," and "their boyfriend."  None of these which you have.  "There" is referring to a place.  "Let's go over there."  Finally, "they're" is the equivalent to "they are."  Think about it.  Only use this if you could substitute the "they're" for "they are."  Now that I got to share some of my knowledge with you, I hope that you can begin to appreciate myself for all that I have to offer, not just that boring novels you have to read, or that 2AM break up text.  And *gasp* that knowing proper grammar, you might just get a job that doesn't have a hat with a spinner on top.  Shocking.